In the Comedy Central Show Jeff & Some Aliens, Jeff is an average loser who lives with 3 aliens studying humans. In each episode they offer Jeff high tech solutions to his Earthly problems that inevitably have horrifying consequences.
The show recently aired an episode that came up with a comical solution to the main character’s social inhibitions. In this particular episode, Jeff & Some Confidence, Jeff realizes he needs an irrationally high amount of confidence in order to successfully make enough money to prevent his parent’s house from being torn down.
To get rock star level confidence one of the aliens uses a device to change his average loser memories to memories filled with the admiration of others. He suddenly has memories of being a famous actor, successful model, and a war hero. Childhood memories of being picked on and neglected by classmates are replaced with scenes of everyone constantly admiring Jeff’s accomplishments.
When he wakes up with these new memories he looks at his fat ugly body in the mirror and says, “I know I’ve always been handsome but today I look like a f***ing sex god baby!”
Although still a loser, his extreme, irrational confidence made it easy to get business loans, have sex with new acquaintances, and convince others to pay attention to him. Eventually his massive ego leads to amassing millions of dollars. He only had to, “say it with confidence,” as his superficial mentor in the episode claims.
Of course it’s just a cartoon that sarcastically mocks how easy it is to be confident and successful when you grow up in an economically stable environment that feeds your ego with support, praise, and encouragement. But it can make you think about the role of your memories in creating who you are.
People who grow up in emotionally healthy families are often better at regulating emotions as they’ve suppressed less of their identities. They have less to be ashamed of so authentic expression and confidence are more natural.
Good for those lucky bastards. For the rest of us. It is still possible to reverse the effects of a lifetime of social inhibition.
Social pressure may have convinced you to hide your authentic self. When you face an opportunity to either engage people in conversation or avoid them, the fear response is triggered.
Although you may not think about all those traumatic childhood memories of being teased and discouraged from being yourself, the impact of those memories still influences your behavior. Every time you avoid social interaction you reinforce the belief that people will reject you.
As you continually invest in social avoidance, your comfort zone gets increasingly smaller until you are afraid to even get out of bed or answer the phone. To reverse this, you need to invest in the opposite behavior. Social interaction will naturally widen your comfort zone.
My new book, Social Confidence Mastery:How to Eliminate Social Anxiety, Insecurities, Shyness, And The Fear of Rejection, talks about how to prepare yourself mentally for those first steps beyond your comfort zone and how to make your progress permanent.
Those first steps can be challenging when you are forcing yourself to do something you don’t believe you are capable of. That’s why Social Confidence Mastery not only teaches external social skills, but also genuine internal confidence and self-acceptance.
If you haven’t made any progress in overcoming social anxiety after trying the suggestions of this book I’ll even give you your money back. So buying this book comes at absolutely no risk to you. I hope you can benefit as much from the content of this project as myself and my clients have. Click the link above for more information.
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